Boundaries & Discipline

Holding a limit while still taking a child's feelings seriously is one of the hardest things parenting asks of you. These articles cover what "kind and firm at the same time" looks like in practice, how praise lands differently depending on how it's phrased, and why difficult behaviour is usually a missing skill rather than defiance.

9 articles

A digital illustration in a calm, flat vector art style shows a mother and her young daughter sitting closely on a teal-colored sofa in a living room. The mother, with dark hair tied back and wearing a cream-colored sweater, has her arm around her daughter and is gently stroking her head, looking at her with a warm, comforting expression. The daughter, with medium-length brown hair and wearing a mustard-yellow knit sweater, is looking down with a thoughtful, slightly sad look on her face, holding a small brown teddy bear in her lap. The background is a muted wall with a bookshelf on the left containing various books and a potted plant, and two framed botanical prints above the sofa. On the right side, there's a stack of two books on a wooden side table. The overall lighting is soft and even, creating a peaceful, supportive atmosphere. The color palette is composed of warm earth tones, muted greens, and teal.
time-outs

Time-Outs vs. Time-Ins: What Gordon Neufeld Says About Discipline That Keeps Kids Close

Time-outs are popular, but Gordon Neufeld asks what they cost a child's sense of closeness. Here is his reasoning, where experts differ, and a four-step time-in that keeps the limit and the connection.

An illustrative vector scene in a cozy, bright living room features an Asian mother with short dark hair sitting on a dark gray sofa, wearing a cream-colored knitted cardigan over a blue top. Next to her, a young daughter with twin pigtails wearing a purple dress sits on her lap, holding hands with her and looking up attentively. In the background, there is a light green wall decorated with abstract geometric art prints, a light wooden shelving unit filled with decorative ceramics and baskets, and a round woven rug on the wooden floor with a wooden rainbow toy and a small ball. The overall art style is warm, flat, and gentle with soft pastel tones.
most generous interpretation

"He's Doing It on Purpose": Why Dr. Becky Kennedy Says to Look for the MGI Instead

"He's doing it on purpose" is the easiest story to believe. Dr. Becky Kennedy offers a better one, and it's usually more accurate.

An illustration in a soft, muted pastel style showing a young girl with curly brown hair sitting alone at a wooden table in a bare room, covering her eyes with her hands to resist a single marshmallow placed on a white plate in front of her.
marshmallow test

The Marshmallow Test: What It Really Shows About Your Child's Self-Control

Your kid ate the marshmallow in 11 seconds. Here's what that really says, and how to teach waiting.

A flat vector illustration in a cozy, sunlit entryway depicts a bearded father in a sage-green cardigan kneeling down and pointing firmly but kindly at a pair of small gray sneakers on a wooden shoe rack. He is making eye contact with his young daughter, who has curly blonde hair and is standing with her arms crossed and a resistant, pouting expression, wearing a striped red and white t-shirt and light-wash denim shorts. The daughter's other sneakers are already on her feet. In the background, there is a white door with a window, a sage-green wall with a framed family portrait (a couple with a child) and an analog clock, a wooden bench with storage boxes below, and a coat rack with a small backpack and a puffer jacket. A patterned rug is on the light wood floor.
positive parenting

"Kind and Firm at the Same Time": How That Actually Works

You don't actually have to choose between being the strict parent and being the warm one.

A warm, pastel-style illustration of a mother kneeling beside her upset young son in a cozy playroom. The child sits with crossed arms and a sad expression while the mother gently places a reassuring hand on his shoulder. Thought bubbles showing emotions and comforting symbols represent understanding the feelings behind a child's behavior. The calm, child-friendly room features soft lighting, toys, books, plants, and a comfortable family space, emphasizing empathy, emotional regulation, and gentle parenting.
parenting strategies

Your Kid Probably Isn't Trying to Mess With You

The story you tell yourself about why your kid did something changes how you respond to it, and usually the kinder story is also the more accurate one.

A flat vector illustration shows a Black mother and young son kneeling together on a light-patterned rug in a children's playroom with sage green walls. The mother, with short voluminous black curly hair, wears an orange-red patterned cardigan over a blue-green top and blue pants, and points gently at an open picture book. The son, with short curly hair, wears a blue-and-white striped t-shirt and beige shorts, holding the small book which features illustrations of a child. In the background, white shelving is filled with colorful toys, blocks, and books, a framed handprint artwork hangs on the wall, and a floor lamp stands beside a window with white curtains.
positive parenting

Are You Raising Your Child, or Trying to Fix Your Own Childhood Through Them

Sometimes the thing you want so badly for your kid was actually meant for you, a long time ago.

A flat vector illustration of a child's playroom with a large window looking out onto a simple, sunny green lawn with a tree and a few scattered white flowers. In the foreground, two toddlers are standing on a colorful patterned rug and arguing over a red toy dump truck; a child with curly black hair in blue overalls firmly holds one end of the truck with an intense expression, while a child in a yellow shirt and green shorts holds the other end looking upset. In the background, a low wooden bookshelf is filled with colorful toy blocks and a teddy bear, against a cream-colored wall patterned with question marks and puzzle pieces. The overall style is warm, graphic, and playful.
early childhood

"MINE!" Isn't a Character Flaw, It's a Legal Theory

Your toddler's "mine!" isn't randomly selfish. It's a real legal principle, several decades ahead of schedule.

A warm, friendly vector illustration shows a mother and her young son kneeling on a colorful, patterned rug and playing with a wooden marble run. The mother, with her brown hair tied in a ponytail, wears a patterned yellow cardigan and blue jeans, smiling as she points and guides a marble. The son, in a yellow t-shirt and tan pants, is also smiling and engaged with the structure. In the background, there's a round white table with a lamp and stacked books, and a window covered by sheer curtains. Wooden blocks are scattered around on the rug. The overall style is cozy and inviting.
early childhood

The Praise You're Giving Your Kid Might Be Backfiring

Two ways to praise a kid sound almost identical, and one of them is quietly building resilience while the other builds fragility.

A flat vector illustration of a cozy living room scene. On a patterned rug on a wooden floor, a young girl with curly red hair and a boy with brown hair are both holding onto a single red toy car, with the boy looking frustrated. A woman in a yellow patterned sweater is kneeling on the rug next to them, smiling gently and extending her hand in a calming gesture. In the background, on a wall with a leaf-and-cloud-patterned wallpaper, there are two framed pictures: one shows a group of five diverse children building a block tower, and the other shows a human brain with a question mark above it. To the right, a glowing globe lamp sits on a wooden side table next to a basket of wooden blocks, and more blocks are scattered on the floor. The overall style is warm, friendly, and graphic.
early childhood

The Question That Works Better Than "Just Say Sorry"

Handing your kid the solution fixes today's fight. Asking the right question fixes the next ten.

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