Kids Actually Prefer Real Activities Over Pretend Play, Says the Research

Walk into most toy stores and you'd assume kids live for make-believe. Superhero capes, play kitchens, pretend everything. One of the more surprising findings in child development research suggests that when you actually ask kids to choose, real wins, consistently, and by a wide margin.

The study that tested the assumption directly

Developmental psychologist Angeline Lillard, director of the Early Development Lab at the University of Virginia, ran studies directly comparing children's preference for pretend activities versus real ones, things like using a real telephone, riding an actual tractor, going fishing, or washing real dishes, versus pretend versions of the same activities. Across the ages tested, kids showed no particular preference for pretend at any point, and children ages four to six strongly preferred the real version. Interestingly, kids attending Montessori schools, often assumed to be "missing out" on fantasy play since Montessori classrooms deliberately minimize pretend materials, preferred real activities even more strongly than other kids did.

The bigger review that backs this up

This wasn't a one-off finding. Lillard and colleagues conducted a comprehensive review published in Psychological Bulletin examining the broader claim that pretend play is essential to healthy child development. Their conclusion was blunt: the evidence that more pretend play leads to better developmental outcomes is, in their words, thin at best. This runs directly against a lot of popular parenting advice that treats fantasy play as a developmental requirement.

Why this matters for what stories you choose

This doesn't mean fantasy or imagination has no value. It does suggest something specific and useful: a story doesn't need to be set in a magical, fantastical world to genuinely engage a child. If anything, this research suggests grounding a story in a child's real life, real situations, real people, real problems, may line up better with what actually holds a young child's attention and interest than importing them into a fully invented fantasy setting.

Reality with a small stretch, not full fantasy

None of this means stories should be flat or literal. It suggests that a story rooted in something real, your actual house, your actual first day of school, your actual fear of the dentist, dressed up just enough to be engaging, may resonate with a young child more naturally than a fully fantastical alternative with talking dragons and magic kingdoms, however charming that version might be to adults designing the book.

The practical takeaway for story time

Given this research, a story where a child is the hero, facing something real and specific to their actual life, isn't a consolation prize compared to pure fantasy. According to Lillard's findings, it may actually be closer to what young kids genuinely gravitate toward when given the choice.

Frequently Asked Questions

Does this mean pretend play is bad for kids? No, the research doesn't suggest pretend play is harmful. It challenges the stronger claim that more pretend play specifically drives better developmental outcomes.

Why do Montessori students prefer real activities even more strongly? Researchers suggest this may reflect both the type of child drawn to Montessori environments and the classroom's consistent emphasis on real, purposeful activities over fantasy materials.

At what age does the preference for real activities show up? Lillard's research found three-year-olds showed no strong preference either way, while children ages four to six showed a strong, consistent preference for real activities.

Should stories for young kids avoid fantasy elements entirely? Not necessarily, but this research suggests grounding a story in real, relatable situations may engage a young child at least as much as, if not more than, a fully fantastical setting.

Sources:

• Lillard, A. S., & Taggart, J. (2019). Pretend play and fantasy: What if Montessori was right? Child Development Perspectives.
• Lillard, A. S., Lerner, M. D., Hopkins, E. J., Dore, R. A., Smith, E. D., & Palmquist, C. M. (2013). The impact of pretend play on children's development: A review of the evidence. Psychological Bulletin.
• Taggart, J., Fukuda, E., & Lillard, A. S. (2018). Children's preference for real activities: Even stronger in the Montessori children's house. Journal of Montessori Research.